If you notice your partner staring at the ceiling while you’re trying to get hot and heavy, or find you’re always the one to initiate sex, you might need to reevaluate your sex life.
The truth is, the only time you really know if you’re bad in bed is when someone tells you that you are. And, how often does that ever happen? Most sexual partners try and be polite and keep their negative comments to themselves, especially if you’re in a relationship with them.
If you’re questioning your talent in the bedroom, then check out these 12 not so good sex habits to find out the truth.
#1. You’re too insecure about your body.
We’ve all heard the phrase, “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else”, well that goes for in the bedroom too. How are you supposed to enjoy yourself when you’re constantly worrying about which position you need to be in to hide your rolls? If you’re not enjoying yourself, your partner likely won’t be either. To improve on this, marriage therapist, Sheri Meyers says you should try and focus on things you like about yourself: “Every time you think, ‘my arms are fat’ or ‘my breasts are small,’ immediately replace those thoughts with something like, ‘I love my hair’ or ‘I have such smooth skin,” she said to Style Caster.
#2. You don’t know how to get yourself off.
How will someone else know how to explore your body when you don’t know how explore your own body? In an article for the Huffington Post, sexpert Sandra LaMorgese noted, “Masturbation can improve your sex life. Self-love allows both sexes to become more familiar with their bodies and pleasure centers.” Worried that too much self-love might leave you less excited for the real deal? Sexuality counselor, Ian Kerner suggests in his book Sex Detox that you should get yourself aroused without actually finishing the job to restore the sexual energy.
#3. You’re not hygienic when it comes to your parts.
Washing your armpits is just as important as washing your nether regions. Improper sexual hygiene can lead to infection and unpleasant odors, according to WebMD. In a survey by CircInfo in London, it was found that 26% of uncircumcised men do not wash their parts adequately. Another survey by Flint + Flint, a skincare company, found that one in three women have gone as long as three days without washing their bodies. To break that down, there are quite a few unhygienic people down there and you don’t want yourself or your partner to be one of them.
#4. You use the same move every single time.
If you’ve only got one move up your sleeve, there’s no doubt that there will be some boredom in the bedroom. Writer for the Huffington Post and marriage author-expert Debra Macleod says that the same old sex can actually do damage to long-term relationships, “Vanilla sex can make couples ask serious questions about their relationship. Have we lost our spark? Are we falling out of love? Is my partner bored with me? Such doubts can chip away at solid relationships.”
#5. You never talk about sex.
Talking to your partner about sex is important in making sure both parties are satisfied. In a survey done by DrEd.com, a whopping 68 percent of women admitted to faking orgasms. “Conversely, when women fake orgasms, they are training partners to do precisely what doesn’t work for them,” said therapist Laurie Mintz for Psychology Today. Communication is key when it comes to letting your partner know what works or what doesn’t. Unless your mate can read minds, you’ve got to speak up.
#6. You try and mimic adult films way too often.
Showing up to the front door pantless with a pizza in your hands might give your partner a good laugh, but leave that for the adult film stars. Sex journalist, Michael Castleman who writes for Psychology Today said, “While porn has some legitimate uses in sex education and therapy, on balance, it’s bad—very bad—for sex. Pornography is like the chase scenes in action movies—exciting and fun to watch, but not the way to drive.” Actors in adult films are exhibitionists, while the sex is real, the expectations for your own sex life are not.